“We don’t solve our problems. We outgrow them.”
— Carl Jung
There’s no magic spell to cancel our problems. We can’t erase our imperfect childhood, our years in the bad relationship, or our mistakes that sent us on the “wrong” path. Our traumas, abusive parents and caregivers, toxic ex’s, tragic losses, they all belong to us and live within us in some capacity. These are important chapters in our story. They season us, deepen us, develop our humanness, and we take them with us wherever we go.
The part we have agency around is in determining how these wounds influence our behaviors in the present. To what degree is our past and our woundings negatively shaping our current ways of being?
When someone wants to “solve” their problem, they often want to make it disappear. They want to deal with it with finality, and never have to revisit the issue. Yet, we know on an intellectual level that this is fantastical thinking. With that said, it is possible to outgrow our issues and have them be part of the history that informs who we are today, rather than being part of the story that keeps us limited and stuck.
MEETING IT HEAD-ON
Instead of meeting the challenge head on to diminish its power over us, we so often avoid it, suppress it, and try to not deal with it. We dive into distraction and addictions as we bury the truth from others and ourselves. We abandon Self and check out. Sadly, this is what many of us were taught in childhood and furthermore, is so widely accepted today. But try as we might, the grip these suppressed issues have on us inevitably grows when they’re locked up and neglected in the basement of our psyche. The more we suppress, the more powerful they become.
What we’re really wanting here is to stop the problem from having a negative impact on our daily lives.
The good news is, this is absolutely doable.
So what’s the power move to get free from wrestling with a “demon”?
Direct the bright, searing light of conscious attention and loving presence onto it.
In staying present with a challenge (call it a belief or a shadow) and increasing our tolerance for discomfort around it, we get a chance to unseat its power over us.
By engaging with it from an awakened place, we get one step closer to freedom.
We grow stronger than our problems.
Returning to our power is inevitable when we do the work.
Begin the journey of reclaiming your power.
Step back into your intuition.
Get free.